Archive for June, 2007
June 23, 2007 at 6:48 am
· Filed under Addiction, Divorce, Entertaining, Etiquette, Family, Hopes and Dreams, Hosting, In Laws, Love, Marriage, Parents, Partys, Peace, Realtionships, Self Defense, Stress, Time, abrasive, adults, advice, arguments, behavior, bothering, entertainment, grieving, growing up, help, husband, manipulation, mothers, privacy, rude, whining
Dear Little Miss,
Okay, here goes… My fiance’s mother is a little wacky (and by ‘a little wacky’ I mean she lives in crazy land.) She requires a lot of attention, and is a pill popper. My fiance tried to explain her to me before I got in this deep, but it seems that you really can’t understand the magnitude of someone who has chronic pain and seeks attention from everyone all the time. Any way… We have decided to get married in Hawaii in April. My Grandparents, who I also consider to be my second parents, are very ill and the doctors don’t think my grandfather will still be on this earth by then… Hawaii is our families home away from home, and it’s a way that I feel he will be there on our special day. The prospect of losing my grandfather has been an emotional havoc on me, and I am trying really hard to look forward to the future. My fiance’s mother, however, is making it very difficult. She’s accusing me of not calling her any more or having lunch with her (I saw her two weeks ago and talk to her daughters regularly on the phone as I have asked them to be bridesmaids). She is pooping on the idea of being in Hawaii, saying it’s too expensive for our friends. Our reply is that we just want it family any way. I feel like there is nothing I can do to appease her and I don’t want to have to feel like I must bend over backwards whenever she feels ‘neglected.’ I can’t remember the last time I was this stressed out… What do I do?
Dear Bothered Bride,
There are several things you should do here. The first is to take me to Hawaii with you, PLEASE! Now that we have that out of the way… You need to stop thinking of your future Mother-in-law as a “Mother-in-law”. She has so many issues that she will never be a fully functioning parent figure to you. For the sake of all involved you need to look upon your MIL as Read the rest of this entry »
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June 13, 2007 at 8:32 pm
· Filed under Babies, Baby Blues, Child Rearing, Depression, Disconnected, Entertaining, Family, Hopes and Dreams, Love, Marriage, Numb, Parents, Realtionships, Spirit, Stress, adults, advice, behavior, bothering, dinner, disrespect, entertainment, fathers, grieving, help, husband, in a rut, mothers, paranoid, pregnancy, questions, regret, romance, self image, techies, women
Dear Little Miss,
My wife is 26 weeks pregnant today. We got into a discussion about the soon to arrive baby and she was concerned because she is not always the stereotypical “happy” mom to be. In other words, she has anxiety about not being overly joyous about the arrival of the baby. Throughout her pregnancy thus far, she has told me she felt neglected and uncared for, or just sort of ignored. I (her husband) have been trying to be helpful as much as possible, but there is a disconnect somewhere. I daily get her things when she needs them, grocery shop and cook. I think she is hoping for something different though. Although she appreciates the little acts of service, she feels abandoned emotionally and not understood. I will be the first to agree with her. I am not very empathetic because I don’t really understand what she is feeling and rather than just asking, I shyly ignore the fact that she is pregnant because I am worried I won’t know how to deal with it. I know these things are bad. Now more than ever she needs my support and love. So my big question is, I feel guilty about not understanding what she is going through and selfish for not taking the time to understand it. How can I show her that I love her through all this on an emotional level?
-Dad to Be
Dear Dad To Be,
So, you don’t understand the whole “pregnancy thing”, huh? Well, please don’t put off Read the rest of this entry »
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June 11, 2007 at 6:45 am
· Filed under "why", Addiction, Babies, Child Rearing, Entertaining, Family, Hopes and Dreams, Parents, Potty Training, Secrets, Stress, adults, advice, arguments, behavior, bothering, boys, diapers, disrespect, entertainment, growing up, habits, health, help, illness, internet, manipulation, mothers, questions, self image, sex, teens
Dear Little Miss,
My 12 year old son has suddenly decided that he is going to wear diapers again. He is just like a big baby and wearing it 24/7 when he does not have to. My son is not handicapped in anyway, he is a normal boy who has never had any problems using the bathroom. What should I do about this?
Dear Frustrated Mommy,
Aaagh! You’ve got to be kidding me. Potty training is already the hardest, and yukkiest part of parenting, and now kids are making us do it all over again??? I’m sorry, that just doesn’t sit right with me. Your son is taking part in a new fad, called “Infantilism,” that is spreading quickly among teens and young adults. Supposedly it is a movement to return to the simpler, more Read the rest of this entry »
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June 5, 2007 at 6:09 am
· Filed under Depression, Disconnected, Divorce, Family, Friendships, Hopes and Dreams, In Laws, Love, Marriage, Realtionships, Religion, Self Defense, Siblings, Spirit, Time, abrasive, adults, advice, behavior, bothering, charity, dating, help, husband, manipulation, regret, romance, self image, shopping, sisters, women
Dear Little Miss,
My little brother is a wonderful guy. He is considered the Golden-child of the family and is fun, outgoing, athletic, and has a terrific personality. After serving a mission for our church he began dating a girl he was set up with. She was the only girl he dated since his mission. He’s an extremely loyal person and found no reason to break up with her or to date other girls. This relationship eventually led to marriage last summer. Although she is a standoff-ish person, all of us were very kind and welcomed her warmly (with the hope that affection may be returned). Well, she’s always “not feeling well” and doesn’t want to do things with us kids (we’re all very close). So at first we suggested that she get checked out by doctor and find out what’s wrong, but it seems to be just an excuse. Plus, she spends money like crazy. My brother, still loyal to his wife (which he should be), is frustrated and not sure how to handle it because she’s the primary breadwinner while he’s in school. He’s also frustrated because he’s very social and unable to do much because she’ll feel abandoned. When he and I talk about things, he’s careful not to complain, but he is frustrated. I don’t feel like there’s anything I can do, and I don’t want to get on his or her bad side. Any advice I can pass on from my position as a close sister?
Thanks,
Concerned Sibling
Dear Concerned Sibling,
The only advice I can recommend you passing on to your brother is, “Hang in there, little bro, marriage is a complicated thing. Keep loving her, and try to see life through her eyes. Things may change once you graduate and get a job, things may change if she becomes pregnant, or things may change simply with time. But even if they don’t change, you shouldn’t try to change her. You married her for who she is, now love her for who she is, not who she could be.”
This sister in law is a very lucky person to have in-laws who wants so badly to include her. May I suggest a different tactic to the one you have been using? Read the rest of this entry »
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