Dear Little Miss,
I have a 15 year old son who has always wanted to have a career in
the FBI. This has been great, because he’s kept his grades up and
his reputation clean so that he can qualify when he is old
enough. However, last weekend he was with a bunch of friends at the
mall. You know how boys are – “I dare you,” “chicken,” etc. and
before he knew it, he was taking the dare and ended up
shoplifting. He wasn’t caught, except by his own conscience. It is
really bothering him, insomuch that he came to me and asked me what
he should do. He wants to make things right, but is afraid that
maybe the store will press charges if he returns the items, then his
record will not be clean and may jeopardize his chances with the
FBI. What counsel can I give him?
the FBI. This has been great, because he’s kept his grades up and
his reputation clean so that he can qualify when he is old
enough. However, last weekend he was with a bunch of friends at the
mall. You know how boys are – “I dare you,” “chicken,” etc. and
before he knew it, he was taking the dare and ended up
shoplifting. He wasn’t caught, except by his own conscience. It is
really bothering him, insomuch that he came to me and asked me what
he should do. He wants to make things right, but is afraid that
maybe the store will press charges if he returns the items, then his
record will not be clean and may jeopardize his chances with the
FBI. What counsel can I give him?
Dear FBI Mom,
“Honesty is the best policy.” It’s an oldie but a goodie, even in your son’s situation. I have friends who have gone through the application procedures of secret service, and the like, and one thing they all had in common was honesty testing. Not only do they hook you up to polygraph machines and ask you all sorts of awful questions, but they have a person yelling and intimidating you while asking you about every little dirty detail of your past. They even ask if you ever lie to your mother! So, your son should return the item, show his mature ability to tell the truth and accept the consequences and to learn from the mistake. Accepting consequences is a big part of “learning a lesson” and will help your son make better choices in the future to aid him in his goal to join the Bureau. It wouldn’t hurt any to have him talk with someone in the FBI every now and then, too, kind of as a pep talk to keep him motivated, pointed in the right direction, and to allow him to ask questions (like this one).
“Honesty is the best policy.” It’s an oldie but a goodie, even in your son’s situation. I have friends who have gone through the application procedures of secret service, and the like, and one thing they all had in common was honesty testing. Not only do they hook you up to polygraph machines and ask you all sorts of awful questions, but they have a person yelling and intimidating you while asking you about every little dirty detail of your past. They even ask if you ever lie to your mother! So, your son should return the item, show his mature ability to tell the truth and accept the consequences and to learn from the mistake. Accepting consequences is a big part of “learning a lesson” and will help your son make better choices in the future to aid him in his goal to join the Bureau. It wouldn’t hurt any to have him talk with someone in the FBI every now and then, too, kind of as a pep talk to keep him motivated, pointed in the right direction, and to allow him to ask questions (like this one).
I wish him the best of luck in achieving such a noble dream.
Honestly yours,
Miss Knowitall
Karen said
Thank you – that was THE PERFECT answer – one I knew was right, but had a hard time being committed to it!
Tirzah said
Great answer! I think that just because he wants to do something else, it doesn’t mean he should be dishonest. He needs to learn that sometimes he should stand up to his friends and if he doesn’t, there are consequences. I am a firm believer in kids recieving natural consequences!
AuthorMomWithDogs said
MissKnowItAll, you should have your own column in the newspaper! You give great advice.