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January 25, 2007 / missknowitall

Wanted: Baby

Dear Little Miss,  

I have three wonderful kids that I love to pieces, and I really feel like there is one more waiting to be born.  My husband, however, is absolutely, not wanting another.  He is a very stubborn man that hates change.  I love him more than life its self, and I want him to want another child with me.  I don’t want to force the issue on him.  I want him to be excited.  What do I do?  

Dear Baby Hungry, 

Congratulations on loving your children so much!  And I have to admire your strength in being willing to take on so many =).  Anyone in today’s small family arena will probably side with your husband and just label you as “baby hungry”.  Well, I don’t agree with them.  But we do need to take your husband’s feelings into consideration here, seeing as how you probably want him in your corner when it comes to helping with all these wonderful children.  I suggest that you take time to look through his eyes.  Ask him about his concerns and worries in regard to having another child.  Don’t try to argue away his feelings.  Most men are so worried about caring for the children they already have that just the thought of more give them anxiety.  I have often witnessed men who adamantly resist having more children, suddenly change their mind upon receiving a big raise at work.  Give honest validation to his feelings.  Take time to think about how he feels.  Sit down later and discuss your feelings, desires, worries, and love for each other.  Then, both of you should take time apart to meditate over the matter.  Continue to go through this process until you can come together on a decision.  The last thing you should do is have your husband feel coerced into a decision that he may feel bitter about and resent in the future.  While you are waiting for a decision to be made take some extra time to enjoy the family you already have.    

 Remember, good things come to those who wait.

  Miss Knowitall

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