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April 13, 2007 / missknowitall

Personal Questions Get Silly Answers

Dear Little Miss,

My wife and I are in our early thirties, we are happily married, happily employed, and happily having fun in life.  We live in a small, close knit community where all young couples have children or are desperately trying to have children.  My wife and I, however, don’t feel ready for children and are not rushing anything in that area of our lives right now.  This leads to awkward situations because everywhere we go we are asked, “So, when are you two going to start a little family?”.  If men are asking, they usually slap me on the back when they ask, as if to say “It’s a man’s duty”.  We get tired of trying to defend our interests to these people and we want to know what we can say to get people to stop asking us this question.  

Asking for help.

Happily Childless

Dear Happily Childless,

Unless you rent yourselves some decoy children to take around with you, I’m afraid you really can’t stop people from asking this question.  Personally, I love these kinds of questions because you can have so much fun with them.  If someone feels they have the right to ask you personal questions, then you should feel free to give them silly answers.  The trick is to do it without malice, to make your point with some light hearted humor, and then change the subject quickly.  After a while people will start to get the hint and leave your personal life alone.  So, next time someone asks you, “When are you two going to start having children?”, try responding with, “Oh, just as soon as we start having sex”, then smile and start talking about the weather.  Other silly lines you can use are:

“Just as soon as we get our parenting licence from the state.  What, don’t you have yours?  You better hurry!”

“We are waiting ’till Oprah tells us it is the ‘in’ thing to do”

“Oh, I have a rich uncle who has put it in his will that which ever one of us kids is childless at his death will get everything.  So, we are just holding out till he kicks the bucket” 

Happily answering.

Miss Knowitall

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