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June 11, 2007 / missknowitall

Teens Wearing Diapers

Dear Little Miss,

My 12 year old son has suddenly decided that he is going to wear diapers again.  He is just like a big baby and wearing it 24/7 when he does not have to.  My son is not handicapped in anyway, he is a normal boy who has never had any problems using the bathroom.  What should I do about this?

Dear Frustrated Mommy,

Aaagh!  You’ve got to be kidding me.  Potty training is already the hardest, and yukkiest part of parenting, and now kids are making us do it all over again???  I’m sorry, that just doesn’t sit right with me.  Your son is taking part in a new fad, called “Infantilism,” that is spreading quickly among teens and young adults.  Supposedly it is a movement to return to the simpler, more innocent time of their lives.  Most often it is seen in males, but females are participating too.  It can entail anything from just wearing a diaper to using a bottle and and acting completely like a helpless baby.  There is also another side to this trend which is called being a “Diaper Lover”.  Diaper Lovers like to wear diapers because of the sensation it gives their genitals and for sexual arousal.  While the two trends are completely different they can go hand in hand.  So, what are all of us tired parents supposed to do with these overgrown babies?  Make them choose.  If returning to babyhood sounds so ideal to them then why should we stop them?  The trick is to help them remember why they wanted to stop being a baby in the first place.  Sit your child down and put it to them this way: “I understand you want to be a baby again, that you like diapers and you want to be helpless and innocently carefree again.  I can understand that.  Parents often wish that they didn’t have so much stuff to worry about too.  So, if you want to be a baby again I will let you.  But you can’t have the best of both worlds.  If you want to act like a baby you will have to live by baby rules.  These are the baby rules:  Babies do not talk on the phone, use the computer, play video games, or watch anything on T.V. except baby shows.  Babies eat baby food (spinach, apricots, green peas, etc) and they drink formula; and if we go to a restaurant I will bring your baby food with us for you to eat.  Babies have to take naps and they don’t ride bikes or skate boards.  Babies have to crawl.  Babies have to stay in the kiddie pool with a life jacket on, they don’t go to the mall, and they are never given money.  Babies don’t talk, or if they do nobody listens to them, and they get talked to in annoying baby talk.  SO, if you want to act like a baby that is fine, but I will make you live by these baby rules until you choose to be a big boy again.”

I think after one dinner of pureed potatoes and peas with a nice bottle of nasty formula your son will start to realize that babies may not have it all that good. 

I hope this passes quickly for you!

Miss Knowitall

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism

http://understanding.infantilism.org/

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26 Comments

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  1. Rachel / Jun 11 2007 9:49 pm

    Who is buying all the diapers?

  2. missknowitall / Jun 12 2007 6:57 am

    That is the other thing I would stipulate, “I stopped buying diapers a long time ago. If you want them, you buy them!”

  3. me / Jul 30 2007 10:20 am

    im going to go against what she says. If he wants to you should let him. hes not a Teen Baby just a Diaper Lover. He’ll never quit so dont bother making him try with “baby rules” hell still do it even though he says he wont. if he says he won’t that is

  4. Dolphin / Aug 1 2007 5:58 am

    Why make a big thing out of it?!
    Yes the kid is probably an infantilist, or a diaperlover and that will follow him for the rest of his life. If you as a parent play your cards right you may help your kid understand that a different sexual behaviour is not neccesarily wrong. If you play your cards wrong you may scar him for life. Believe me he will have a hard enough time being ashamed trying to accept it himself, without anyone making it harder for him.

    If he wants diapers, let him buy them, wear them and handle the used ones responsibly as in throwing them outside in the bin so they don’t stink up the place.
    Explain that while it’s ok for him to do whatever makes him feel good as long as it doesn’t hurt himself or anyone else, he may not force it upon others who do not wish to see him in diapers or in other ways take part in his infantilism.
    Don’t be angry or upset, you’r son is still the same wonderful child you’ve had before. Support him and talk to him and agree on what is acceptable and what is not. Take my word as I have been through it all.

    This is the problem with “know-it-alls” – they may not really know it all after all ;-)

  5. missknowitall / Aug 1 2007 6:26 am

    Dolphin,
    Thank you for the heartfelt and mature answer (I have received so many other comments that were were full of cuss words and hateful words).

    I want everyone else out there to know that I do not think a person should ever be berated or “scarred” by people they love simply because they are different. I do stand by my answer to this mother and hope she will follow the advice in a loving manner. As parents we have a responsibility to help our children mature and reach adulthood with the best chances of success as possible. Diaper wearing may be considered an urge that can’t be helped but so are the urges for anorexia, cutting oneself, over eating, and other forms of reality escape. While it may not physically hurt anyone to wear diapers it may cause the child self esteem issues; and I would hope that a parent would be willing to help a child learn that there are other things they can do in life to control, or replace, unusual urges.

  6. Chaz / Aug 2 2007 6:04 am

    “Diaper wearing may be considered an urge that can’t be helped”

    You speak as though this is a disease? It is not. This is no different than someone who eats ice cream or someone who enjoys a massage. You most likely say this because it is something you do not understand… and that is ok. I am just clearing up this misunderstanding in saying that this is not sexual or deviant behavior, but rather a psychological need for comfort. My guess is that he is the oldest among brothers and/or sisters. At 12 years of age, that would be my reasoning in understanding his desire. Although it is true that DL is a fetish (one that I enjoy), I am certain he is too young to have any thoughts like that, therefore I rule that out. Regardless, it is by no means anything to be worried about. It is not like “cutting”, “overeating” or anything dangerous like that. Just assure that ground rules are understood (ex: only worn in the house)and you will see that he will probably grow out of this. Wow… I sound like Doctor Phil… sorry. Guess I missed my mark in life… should have done the talk show thing instead of the flying thing. lol

    -Chaz

  7. missknowitall / Aug 2 2007 7:16 am

    Dear Dr. Phil
    “Diaper wearing may be considered an urge that can’t be helped” I said this because I have heard from others who have said as much. And I consider it different from a massage, or eating ice cream (which I happen to enjoy), in the sense that several children (around the age of 12) have written to ask me why they do it, and to say that they have tried to stop or want to stop and can’t.

    I do agree that most will probably grow out of it and only do it for fun. However, please remember that the first answer I gave was to a parent, and not to the diaper wearer. As a parent I just don’t think it is fair for a child to expect their parent to go through baby care all over again. If the child sincerely wants to be a child again, that is fine, but why should he be given the best of both worlds? He should either be a baby all the way or accept that grown up privileges require growing up. To engage in diaper wearing as an adult is different in my book. As an adult you take on all the responsibility of the diaper wearing and that is no ones business but yours. For a child to engage in it, it is the parents responsibility, and that isn’t fair to the parent.

  8. annonymous / Aug 4 2007 5:07 pm

    dear miss know it all,

    I want to wear diapers but i don’t know if i should.

  9. annonymous / Aug 4 2007 7:57 pm

    also i don’t know if i want to be babyed. my parents do not know this and i don’t think i shuld tell them.

  10. missknowitall / Aug 4 2007 9:32 pm

    Dear Annonymous,
    Please read the last response I gave to “taylor” and see if it helps. Here is the link:
    https://littlemissknowitall.wordpress.com/2007/01/31/12-year-old-baby/
    Scroll down to the end of all the comments till you find it. Let me know if it helps.
    Miss Knowitall

  11. Adam Lewis / Aug 16 2007 8:06 pm

    Hello there, My step mother, years & years ago, had to deal with me wearing diapers again. She “did” pretty much what you just gave as advice. I was put into Pampers diapers back in 1986 at first, by a family friend that I was staying with at the time during my dad and stpmother’s honeymoon. When they got back, My dad couldn’t cope and my stepmother sought advice from a professional psychologist friend of hers. The friend suggested that I be put back into diapers full time and that I had to live by infant rules again. The exceptions to the advice that you gave and what I lived, was that I had to wear the diapers out at the store or where ever I went and had to be changed in the car, the store’s bathrooms, and I had to be spoon fed my food, even at a restaurant.
    The “treatment” didn’t deture me from wearing diapers at all, it made my desires even stronger and reinforced my love ofr diapers. The other difference was, that I was actually having incontinence issues and was wetting my pants and the bed. I still wear diapers now, but only to prevent a public health and sanitary issue and to keep my clothing dry and my bed dry. I still enjoy the way my diapers feel even today. I would add to the parent, that if she takes this road, she herself may have to live by the same set of rules too, hence she would have to change the diapers because babies don’t know how to change their own diapers, if they stay on track with the rules that is. Babies can’t even choose the diapers that they wear either, so, the parents WILL have to go through a second babyhood all over again, at least for a designated time frame.
    Adam Charles Lewis

  12. missknowitall / Aug 16 2007 8:15 pm

    Adam,
    Wow, it is great to hear from someone who has actually been through this from beginning to end like that. I may have to take back my advice then. I guess my advice could easily be as bad as making a child smoke a whole pack of cigarettes to make them never try them again… I’ll have to rethink this one.

  13. Mako / Aug 20 2007 6:15 pm

    Though i’m very glad your considering back your advice, i still wish to enforce the points already made by dolphin.
    Your advice about forcing him to be a baby again is simply luddicrous. If you were so concerned about not causing the child serious emotional issue’s, you would not suggest something so cruel and humiliating for the child. I can safely say from experience the child will most likely be under emotional stress about his desires to wear diapers. I know through my teens years there were many times i wished i would stop having this want to wear diapers. but i eventually learned to accept who i am. Telling a parent to attempt to have there child stop liking diapers because it will cause them emotional stress, is like telling a parent to stop their son from being gay for said reasons.
    What the parent can actually do to help is simply be supportive. She doesn’t have to baby him, nor should she be expected to. But she can learn to help him accept himself.

    If the child grows out of these wants, hey that’s just great. If not, that’s okay too. He simply needs to learn how to balance his urges with responsibility. Something that comes to people in time, regardless of there little quirks.

  14. nicholas / Oct 18 2007 2:54 pm

    hi umm this is embarrising but i love to wear diapers.my parenys dont know yet us that bad? heres my story:i have a friend whos mom just had a baby like 5 months ago and its in pampers cruisers diapers. my friend and i always ask if we can go upstairs and diaper some of his stuffies. but we are actuslly lying and we go upstairs undress and put the diapers on.i actually stole some buzz lighyear pull ups from my niehbours kid. i wore them and peed and pooed in them. so uh what should i do? reply fast plz

  15. nicholas / Nov 15 2007 2:39 pm

    hey miss know it all! where are you i want you to reply and my need for diapers is growing even more plus my parents are going to europe for 3 weeks and they r leaving me with the same friend what should i do help me!

  16. missknowitall / Nov 15 2007 4:26 pm

    Nicholas,
    Do you really want to stop? Do you truly think this is wrong for you? If so then the first thing you need to do is tell your parents and ask them for help. Ask them to do research with you. Stop hanging out with this friend unless he can support you in your desire to stop wearing diapers. But, unless you honestly want to change you won’t. As long as you think it is ok and just for fun you will still do it. Calm down, and take it one diaper at a time. Think of it as potty training yourself and learn to say no, to walk away. Next time you have a diaper in front of you just ask yourself, “Do I really want to be a diaper wearer? Is this who I am?” The more often you are able to walk away from a diaper the easier it will be.

  17. nicholas / Nov 16 2007 2:25 pm

    ok, but it’s just every time i say i am going to stop i find myself keep on putting the diapers one myself. also my parents are leaving tommorow and i am going to be left with that fiend. plus the diaper wearing i have is making me wet the bed so should i steal a diaper from the babies drawer and put it on before i go to bed?? i dont know what to do and i know i will want to wear the diapers during those 3 weeks. plz try to reply soon before i go

  18. missknowitall / Nov 16 2007 2:32 pm

    Nicholas,
    I can’t help you unless you can answer those first two questions I gave you:
    Do you really want to stop? Do you truly think this is wrong for you?

  19. nicholas / Nov 16 2007 2:35 pm

    well sord of i do want to stop but i know it will come back to me. and i dont really think it is wrong for me but if my parents find out they might kill me. i know if i tell my babysitter she wont but its embarrising reply fast like you just did plzzz

  20. missknowitall / Nov 16 2007 2:40 pm

    Nicholas,
    What can I say? Based on your answer you aren’t going to stop. If you aren’t going to stop then why worry about the next 3 weeks with you friend?

  21. missknowitall / Nov 16 2007 2:51 pm

    Sorry Nicholas,
    If you just want to carry on a conversation, I don’t have the time to sit and chat. You are a big boy. Decide what you want to do with you life and do it. If you have any other questions I ask that you send me your email so that I can respond privately.

  22. Mako / Dec 8 2007 5:47 am

    First off, I would like to thank you missknowitall for the way you helped nicholas. Just one question I think you forgot, though i would assume it’s because you don’t wish to chat, so that’s okay.

    Why do you want to stop nicholas? Is it because you personally want to stop having these urges to wear diapers? Or is just because your afraid of others finding out?

    Many of infantilists deal with the latter throughtout their teen years, and that risk is always there. But if you still want to wear, learn from the mistakes of many others and don’t steal, or leave evidence.

    But if you want to stop, missknowitall’s advice is best and I wish the best of luck to you.

  23. missknowitall / Dec 8 2007 9:20 am

    Mako,
    I don’t mind chatting but after more emails from Nicholas (which I did not post here), it became obvious that Nicholas didn’t really want to stop, but was enjoying having someone try to stop him. I think it added to the “badness” of what he was doing. I’m here to help, not to play fetish games.

    Thank you for the kind words about my advice, I really appreciate them.

  24. Geoffrey / Jan 2 2008 9:26 am

    I like the thought that as a parent, we are responsible for raising our children in a manner which will give them an optimal chance at success in life. The wearing of diapers as an adult is not a behavior that screams “success”

    Yes – I am sure that there are very successful people out there who do this. That is not the point.

    The original question was from a parent who did not feel that this was appropriate behavior. As a parent of a 12 year old boy, they have the right to decide that they will or will not tolerate this behavior. If she had been asking about her 21 year old son in college – different story.

  25. missknowitall / Jan 2 2008 9:28 am

    Thank you, Geoffrey. It is nice to hear a parent’s point of view on this (as this is a parent’s question).

  26. brian / Mar 19 2008 10:25 am

    yes i think you do have the upper hand on the problem the people who dont need them shouldnt have them it just makes it worse for the rest of the group like my doctor ordered medical condition and i get treated pretty badly sometimes its not cool but leave it to people to exploit something

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