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August 1, 2007 / missknowitall

Am I Crazy For Wanting Another?

Dear Little Miss,

I feel like I’m going crazy, I have a 10 month old son
and I desperately want another baby! I’ll start from the beginning.  About 4
months back I stopped having periods. I had pregnancy tests coming out of my
ears, but all were negative! I went to the doctor after my first missed
period being 3 weeks late, and still believing I was pregnant I might add.
After running so many tests I was finally told there was absolutely nothing
wrong with me and I am NOT pregnant.  In the beginning I was terrified of having
another baby, my son only being 6 months at the time, but 4 months later I’m
not pregnant and want to be!

The reason why I feel like I’m going crazy is that I have so many things going through my mind.  Do I just want a baby because I’d gotten used to the idea?   Do I want a baby
because everyone seems to be pregnant?  Do I want a baby because I miss
being pregnant?  Do I want a baby because I want a girl?  Do I want a baby
because I want something and I don’t know what?  Or the most obvious of all, do
I want a baby because I just want a baby? I know it sounds silly but these
thoughts have all gone through my mind!

I’m not worried about money, or work, or childcare or anything else like
that. I know we will get by!  All I know is that I want a baby so desperately and my partner does too, but I’m not sure if that’s because he knows how badly I do!  And I keep thinking what if I can’t get pregnant?  What if every month I get
a negative test and it breaks my heart?  How do I settle my mind? Am I going crazy?

Dear Am I Crazy,

I don’t think you ARE crazy, but I think you are DRIVING your self crazy.  There is no reasonable answer for why women are willing, let alone desperate, to go through 9 months of agony and a lifetime of sacrifice in order to have children.  We just do.  Stop the roller coaster thoughts of “whys” and “what-ifs” and just accept that you are a very human woman who is feeling a desire to create another child. 

You need to relax.  Stress is never a good atmosphere for a family or a baby, and can actually prevent conception.  Stress could even be a reason for why your periods have stopped coming.  Instead of focusing on your negative pregnancy tests focus on being healthy and happy.  Take prenatal vitamins, play with your son, keep falling back in love with your partner, find a hobby that you can really enjoy.  Take a pregnancy test once a month (and only once a month) just to keep tabs on your body.  If along the way you change your mind and feel that you do not want a child right now, start using birth control and don’t feel guilty about it.

And remember, a watched pot never boils.  So, stop watching your pot and start enjoying life again.

Miss Knowitall 

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One Comment

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  1. Amanda / Sep 14 2007 5:43 am

    I have the same desire to have a baby,but we cannot afford it, nor do we have TIME, nor do I want to go through the pain again (it will be c-section). It really is a natural instinct. A human desire to procreate. I keep reminding myself that – and it helps to get through another day (without being pregnant)!

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